I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
I just hope this isn't happening Final Destination style
Travis Barker would totally be Devon Sawa in this scenario
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
Just watched a guy fight a garbage can then pee on it, screaming "I told you to listen to me the first time!!" San Francisco, I've missed you.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Are we still banned from the library?
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Remind me in the future that chugging dog codeine is not the best idea.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize
