Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
