I'm exhausted and I have velveeta stuck in my teeth
Did you eat out Derrek's girlfriend again?
Shaving your vagina at 8 months pregnant is not an easy chore.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
i had a flashback to you roaring like a dying tiger and then throwing your wallet (maybe?) at the cat in the living room and saying "you're the only adult that lives here take all my money"
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
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