I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
You hit on my mom and then passed out in the kiddie pool.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Best part of leaving the university? Interns are as hot as my former students, not legally off limits, and they will do anything for a full time job.
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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