when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
Randomize