I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
You guessed 7 of 8 bra sizes correctly. You're like a drunk rainman.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Randomize
