I just woke up and i'm wearing a cape and it says sup slut on my ass
We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
Nana saw my nipple rings & made me watch Joel Osteen all morning
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
