gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Do you realize half our text conversations are you asking me for tit pics and me saying no?
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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