I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Gonna be hard to top last New Year's Eve when the guy I blew came at midnight
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize
