omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
Sometimes I think about the fact that I lost my virginity while watching anime and I wonder what that says about me
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
especially when i'm drunk. his dick might as well be made of cotton candy.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
Randomize
