I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
Uhh I just had to break up with a guy who I didn't even know I was dating...
I should have known when she mixed malibu and V8. It smelled just like tanning oil and when she drank it she said "Oh well, not the first time."
Randomize
