Duck Duck Cougar?
Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
I was handcuffed to a girl for half-an-hour. And I'm still the only one in the house who didn't get laid.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
The maintenance guy asked for a box to stand on to reach the ceiling. All I could offer him was a keg.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
Am I supposed to confront my 52-year-old boss/mother of 3 about the fact that we matched on Tinder?
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
i dunno but you just looked at him said "youre making me really wet" and straight pissed your pants
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