Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
I'm making presurgery martini's. You need to be here.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
you were so high you just watched the elf.... its spring
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