there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
The last thing I need is a possessed urethra.
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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