So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
I wish there were whore gnomes that cleaned our apartment when we were gone.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
He's ninety percent amazing leader, brother, and teacher, and ten percent unforgivable douche. These are the men I look up to in my life.
just bought myself a "your about to get violated in every way so you deserve this chipotle" steak bowl.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
Whenever I have a bad day I just look at the negetive pregnancy test I keep in my purse and remind myself things could be alot worse.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
There are leaves in my underwear?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
