shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
You spent like 10 minutes trying to hit a golf ball that was actually a cigarette butt. And then fell over.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
You took the receipt and ate it. You then took it out and gave it to the waitress with slobber and holes all over it.
She was riding a razor scooter down the street wearing nothing but a feather boa it was beautiful.
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