the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I knew his night was already over when he started marking lines on the bottle and setting goals
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
I can now tell my grandchildren Central Park has really great spots for quickies...
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
He went to cum on my stomach and somehow it got behind my ear. He's like a fucking jizz Houdini.
We were drunk having sex and I knocked over her bedside table/fish bowl and she jumped off to check if her fish was still alive but she made me pasta so it's cool
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
The hump and dump is a beautiful thing
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