Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
he wears New Balance sneakers on a regular basis, did you really expect the sex to be more than decent?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
