there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
Call me when you get back form court. Hopefully its not later than noon. Just remember..win or lose we still booze.
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
My mom legitimately hired a private eye on me. DO YOU KNOW HOW EXCITING MY LIFE JUST GOT???
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Couch. On fire.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
my boobs just made me lose a game of beer pong. the balls hit them, bounced off and into the cup. twice. ive never been so disappointed in them.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize