I like my sex mixed with concussions.
im watching my roommate bang this girl. she doesn't look like she's any good, because he has a bored look on his face...
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
if this hangover is indicative of how 2011 is gonna be, i want nothing to do with it
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
She called us while she was having sex to ask if we remembered to feed the cat
I dont understand how her boyfriend puts up with her weirdness
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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