If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
We found her hiding in the bath tub.. And when i opened the curtain she replied "thank you" and walked out like nothing happened.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
I guess your brother-in-law will have his day in the sun tonight after you leave. By that, I of course, mean he's gonna suck liquor milk out your sister's tits.
I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
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