the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
It was like good, clean fun, but with bodyshots.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
you're avoiding the subject, i want to know how you ended up at the strip club with the dog, fucker
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
I just woke and boke and made apple pancakes. I'm kicking Monday in the dick.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
