I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
Just mADE A PArabola og urine
I took my penis out way before I got to the bathroom and some dude kicked me out.
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
You broke the end off a wine bottle, ran outside and screamed "FOR NARNIA!!"
I ran into my parents house and stole a bottle of vodka last night...Apparently left them a note that read "DRUNK. TOOK VODKA. BRING MORE."
Can we relax the "married man" rule just once?
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
