I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
Typical Sunday afternoon purchase of condoms and a helium tank.
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
YOU ARE NOT A BOTTLE OF RUM THEREFORE I DONT KNOW HOW TO LOVE YOU
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
You started crawling towards a moving train. Maybe you should take it easy next time
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
SOME DUDE PUT OUT FOR A MCCHICKEN AND YET YOU STILL WON'T FUCK ME
He kept saying "Welcome to Indianapolis" over and over while we were having sex...because that's his hometown. I was scared and confused... I didn't know if I should have said thank you or what.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
