is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
When we made out her lip\nose ring fell out in my mouth. Awkward?
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
First of all guys don't have walks of shame. Secondly there is nothing more epic than riding the skytrain in a toga while everyone else is going to work
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
People don't tend to fuck with you when they think you have someone else's blood on your face
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
Dude, running 15 min late.
Let's play a game, you pay for all the drinks I can finish before you get here. Go.
Randomize
