The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
Omg calling you in 10 to update you on who I peed on last night
Dipping doritos in ranch. Why doesn't he love me?
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
I'm just gonna go have sex with whom ever is in the men's room.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
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