bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
So, how do I go about conveying: I'm sorry, yet very glad she is having my abortion. Via text msg?
The door to door salesmen do not expect you to be drunk at 3 in the afternoon
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
Well I blew a guy I barely know in full view of a homeless camp. That's pretty tame for me.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
she said she doesn't remember seeing me at all last night. ...I was with her for six hours, there's no way she could have been blackout the whole time
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
Randomize
