i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
i feel like words won't express my appreciation properly so at some point i'm just going to bring you pizza then go down on you for an hour. fair?
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Rehydrating your liver back to life is never a good idea.
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
I've faked every orgasm I've ever had, I think I can fake being sick for 8 hours.
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I've been on the cocaine and semen diet for the last 24 hours, lunch sounds great.
Randomize
