You can't have hate sex in a hallway!!
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Like many of my risky ideas this has "burned genitals" written all over it
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I really don't think there's anything more liberating than farting.in a loud bar where no one.can.hear you
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
And also the fact that I woke up sandwiched between two gay men is probably fueling my day
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
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