What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
Little spoons don't ask big questions
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
I'll text you later. I think she thinks we're taking this whole "no sex" thing seriously.
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Note to self. The tub labelled "not water" does not contain water.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Randomize
