Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I mean. I'm excited for the Seahawks too. I just love nachos.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
Randomize
