somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
