she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
She said I was really immature but whatever...oh by the way we just bought a toilet and turned it into a beer bong so come over
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
I smell like lime and condoms and I really want a waffle. Fuk
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
I'd like to buy a season pass to your dick please.
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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