All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
Just to be safe, you should be prepared to jump out of a second story window
Just had my ass outlined on a bar top with permanent marker and then they carved the imprint into the wood with a knife. I'm famous in the country!
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
