Your dad touched me again.
Omg. Budweiser tramp-stamp sighting @ Wal-mart. Best tattoo EVAR.
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
Boobs are out for the taking
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
I met my future wife last night. She's a bombshell from Delaware, hates Trump, and humiliated two old men in a GOP healthcare debate while simultaneously convincing them to pick up both of our bar tabs.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
Randomize
