that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
he climbed up to our party on the 2nd floor balcony and then pulled a glass mug and a beer from his knapsack. these freshmen are intense
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
She just laid there, sucking on a piece of steak, with the most content look on her face. Just before she passed out (steak still on her mouth) she said the cat box needed to be emptied
I have to masturbate tonight while watching every Paul Walker movie ever made. It's what he would have wanted. RIP Paul.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
All I remember is that I was trying to call my wolf pack by howling.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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