He said he was from Mississippi and my vagina clamped shut like a frightened oyster
So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I feel as if the hash cupcakes on top of mushroom chocolates was a little excessive last night
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
Like an undercooked grilled cheese that got cold again. But hairy.
And there goes my desire for sandwiches. Forever.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
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