More tranny stories later!
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
it was like lady and the tramp only with a jello shot on the pool table
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
The bartender charged us for drinks. Life is different.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Why didn't you ever bring me to the pope as a baby so he could kiss me.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
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