life is sad when you just turned 21 and youre doing late night rogaine runs...
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
My mom comes home from her weekend with her lesbian co-workers and asks "You wanna know how I got these bruises?" I've never been more torn about anything EVER.
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Powdered alcohol is a real thing now. Move over crystal light... Water bottles rejoice!!
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
