My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I've wasted nicer days than this hungover and dry heaving in bed.
Dude, I had no choice. I was defending my genitals.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
