You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
Phease come get me i thought i was in a place i don't even understand
this chick on a show just showed her boobs and let some guy paint them others asked why she did it and her reply i quote "i was bored" why dont chicks get bored more often
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
you know u lost to a carboard cut out of sammy sosa in beer pong last night.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Found a single cinnamon toast crunch between my butt cheeks. We did work last night
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
But you're the one who should be jamming foreign objects into my vaj instead of an old weird lady. I mean, it is your birthday....
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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