Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize