it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
David pulled a magic mike again and started stripping on every street sign we passed.
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
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