I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
Just zoned back in to real life and found myself chanting "noodle eater noodle eater noodle eater" at my parrot as he devoured a single macaroni
I hope that will b the last time i take off my pants in the chemistry building.
Randomize
