And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
Just made a drug deal by throwing my money to my dealers window and receiving weed the same way. We are the definition of typical lazy stoners.
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
SITTING NEXT TO A CIRCUS PERFORMER AT PLANNED PARENTHOOD. THIS IS MY LIFE.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
It's all fun and games until you have to pay the bar tab.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
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