it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
When I told my mom I was having a rough time, she responded with "pop a xanax, take a nap, and when you wake up all will be right with the world." My mom is finally starting to shape up.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
I'm pretty sure at any given moment you could wring out my liver and get a couple of shots of jäger.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
purchased gas station taquitos and condoms at 4 this morning. It has been magical..
I'm pretty sure I regained my virginity last night
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Kay so its 9 am whose dumbass is gunna act sober to buy pizza rolls
Dude you promised
God I need to hump something, right now.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
Randomize
