16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
I guess the cop knew i was on a walk of shame and felt bad...i got to play with the siren the rest of the way home
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
You can't just say things like "great depression theme party" and then not respond.
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
I just had to explain why I ate a whole quart of mac and cheese before 8am. Not a good start to the day
Umm my dog ate your vibrator. Sorry 😬
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
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