I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
So thanks to the xanax and vodka memory erasering combo i wake up only to reopen a picture of some very familiar balls
I sold 10 pepperonis for 5 dollars last night....i fucking love drunk people
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
The problem with drugs is that there's none in this hotel
The problem with drugs is that showing my boobs only gets so much of them
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
So some guy thought I took second place in a male stripper competition
Last night was fun. Sorry I slipped out before you woke up
Also, your parents get up REALLY early. Please thank them for the bagel and travel mug of coffee. Happy Thanksgiving!
Randomize
