I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I cried while dry heaving in the back of the car to the New York song with jay z in it. I was singing it inbetween gags.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
A log hopped out of the fireplace and caught the carpet on fire. Good summary of this election if you ask me.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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