The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
I am still awake. And let me sing you the song of my people. Ahem. "I have a bottle of hydrocodone and you all can fuck off."
She's astronaut crazy. She will wear Depends and drive 12 hrs non-stop if you swipe right.
Challenge accepted
It's a sad night when one of your friend texts you that she's going on a date with someone you know and then invites you to maybe have a drink after
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
My life just got so pathetic that I volunteered to work a double on my day off because its saturday and I have nothing else planned
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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