Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
its like national bring your ginger to the pool day or something
We can't have sex anymore. The amount of money I've spent on meds and copays for UTIs is getting ridiculous
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I just got into the cab. It smells like weed and the driver looks like someone who may or may not be really talented at playing the saxophone. He also asked me my thoughts on porn when I told him I'm an actor. I might not make it home.
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
That falls under the "unwelcome penises" category. Also that's definitely a sentence I never thought I would say
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
The ass gains better be worth it
Randomize
