OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
You can't motorboat a personality
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Dating a girl 4 years younger than you is like living in a Taylor Swift song...
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
Pretty sure that I got the MVP of wedding reception... woke up on the bench in the hallway of a hotel and we did NOT start the night there.
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
It's like the blind leading the senile over here.
UPDATE: shit just got real- grandma is threatening to beat grandpa with a wooden spoon covered in chili.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
Randomize
