Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
It was all fun and games until she said "you're so pretty I wanna punch you in the face" and the proceeded to punch her in the face
I was picked up from his hotel room at 5 a.m. and came home with my panties and jäger in a McDonald's bag so the desk attendant wouldn't judge me. This is what single at 25 is about.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
my god I love twenty year old dicks
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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