There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
My costume is made up of 4 inch heels and a firefighter costume I'm borrowing from the dramatic play area of my Pre-K classroom. I told you I could still be slutty on a teacher's salary.
Someone shattered a urinal.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
Alive.
So much puke
I'm going to take a nap so I don't feel like a stripper sneezed in my mouth tomorrow morning at work.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
My vagina just clenched in fear
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
