Consumer Beware: Redhead has herpes.
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
I have an excuse to be a whore in Mexico. I'm conducting an experiment to see if small dicks are caused by the poor drinking water.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
He asked me the next morning if he fell asleep inside of me. Drunk is an understatement.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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