i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I found my old addy guy via fb who clearly understands the supply and demand curve of addy during finals so he's gonna hook me up.
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
Just thinking about this summer makes me feel a slight tingle of an orgasm mixed with a twinge of regret as the cold ghostly feeling of multiple hangovers creep into my body.
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
I got in an argument over whether or not I'm a slut. I argued yes.
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
There's a guy in a plaid shirt running around asking everyone if they want to head butt him
Randomize
