I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
I don't want her to kill herself before she gets over me, getting mentioned in a suicide note isn't very fly.
but it's kind of a high honor.
then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
Typcal friday morning so far. Puke, shower, commute/puke, coffee, puke, coffee, bagel, good to go. Lunch today?
A client gave me a bottle of vodka today. And he was hot with a beard. It's like he knows my soul.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
The airport has the best people watching and munches... It should be a destination drinking location
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
I am one with the molecules
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
