I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
