Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Cover your phone. Photos of streaking frat guys incoming.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
OF COURSE I NEED TO KNOW I MUST KNOW EVERYTHING
YOU ARE NOT OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
I AM OMNIPOTENT AND YOU HAVE TO DEAL WITH THAT
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