this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
I realized that I earned the name Classy cassie as i was throwing up vodka slushie in my bed with a guy I know by the name extacy boy
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
Didn't realize he fucked me in a bed a dog is always in until my face swelled two sizes and I had hives all over my body. This is God's way of punishing me for having amazing sex.
Stop talking and go back to bed. You're in the kitchen in your underwear and slept in your car.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize
