O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
Only my sister would update her facebook status while going into labor.
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You think posting ushers "let it burn" video on his fb page is in bad taste? haha
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
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