That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
Ya know, years from now when that kid is old enough, I'll get to regale him with the story of how I was his father's AND uncle's first gay experience.
The other night after we fucked we talked about Lowe's vision insurance. Never fuck a coworker.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
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