i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
I might not be able to enter cuba but that doesn't mean that a cuban can't enter me
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
Just follow the currents of life. And if they take me on to a guys dick, so be it.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
mid-sex she goes "oh my god. you aren't even going to remember my name in the morning, are you?". And i was so wasted that i straight up told her "honestly, I don't even remember your name right now"
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
operation Bang Australian Boy = oh so successful
Randomize
