Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
I know everyone screamed lady cop instead of cops. I wanted to apologize to her for our chauvinism
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
Text me all the things you want us to do this summer. So far, I have Kegstand written down
I made that picture of you my lock screen. So I've just been standing around at work licking my phone all day.
I like her because we want the same things out of life AND she actually wants to have sex with me.
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Tell me why i'm looking through my medical records and the last thing it said about my labor was 'vagina was explored'!?
Randomize
