i havee beer in my backseat and a glow in the dark condom in my cleaveage.
you're going for the gold here.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
You talked to that cop for like 15 minutes and when you got back, you told us you were "networking".
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
The Olympian is in my bed
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
Randomize
