Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
how can i change my meal plan to a keystone plan?
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
We're going clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
What will that accomplish?
It will accomplish clubbing with matching soccer jerseys on.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Worse than that. I caught my roommate jerking off to a topless stripper in gta 5.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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