It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I don't think he liked your vagina hand signal
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
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