I dunno... she just cried a lot and I kept sighing.
so he let me use one of the toothbrushes that came in his daughters 4 pack, purple glittery toddler toothbrush, the next time i came back his wife has used their label maker and put my name on it...
I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
i spent an hour trying to convince my psychiatrist that the fact that i showed up for my appointment drunk was progress, and she does not agree
Your topless pictures make me question reality
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
Started my new year off by being hospitalized with pneumonia. You?
Found out I'm pregnant.
I'll stick with pneumonia.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
