How does everyone that never saw me naked know I'm built like a smurf?
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
I remember three things: you falling down an entire flight of stairs, me stripping out of your Christmas one-sie to do cartwheels in my underwear, and people standing above me saying, "where did that bump on her head come from?"
Also, I was told I kept the antlers on the entire time. I'm deeming last night a success.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Why is the microwave staring at me?!
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize
